I'll Give You My Heart
by Mama Avio
Summary: It is Valentine's Day yet again, and Ivan is terrified of what his little sister may have in store for him /this/ year. Apparently, Natalia has something extra special in store for him... RusBela, clearly.
1. I'll Give You My Heart

**Disclaimer: Hetalia. I own it as much as I own Valentines Day. Which is neither.**

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**I'll Give You My Heart**

**Avio Favalon**

**A Hetalia fanfic~**

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February 14th.

It was a holiday Russia enjoyed, and his ever-present smile was bright and cheery as he walked down his streets, seeing his people so happy and filled with love, exchanging gifts and flowers, and he had almost forgotten why there was always that undertone of fear when it came to this holiday.

Almost.

He could sense her, though. Slinking through his neighborhoods on her way to his home, most likely armed with a gift basket filled with flowers, chocolate, and marriage papers. He shuddered at the thought; why couldn't he have a normal sister?

So he did his best to avoid his home and enjoy his walk, happy that his people were happy.

He would deal with Belarus later, most likely. He learned long ago that he couldn't avoid her. For now, however, he was content to walk and observe.

~o~

He could no longer avoid it. He could no longer avoid _her._ The sun was setting and he knew she'd be waiting for him, just as she waited for him every year. His sister was a very patient woman. Patient and tenacious. Frightening. So he had made his way home and was now standing before his bedroom door.

_She is always there, always waiting for me, always… why can she not understand? Why? I just cannot… not like that…_

Nonetheless, he sighed and pushed open the door, closing his eyes tightly and bracing himself for the assault…

…and was surprised when it didn't come. Cautiously, he opened an eye, flicking on the light and peering into his room. "Natalia?"

He froze when his gaze fell upon his bed.

_No. No. No, no, no…_

He couldn't be seeing what he was seeing. It couldn't be.

His heart was pounding as his brain scrambled to register, to process, to _accept_ what he was seeing.

There was his little sister, his sweet, insane, beautiful little sister. She was laying on his bed, roses and petals littered the area around her decoratively. The top of her dress had been unbuttoned, spread open and bearing her chest. Her chest was completely soaked in blood and there was a hole where her heart was supposed to be and he had a brief thought flicker across his mind- _your heart sister where is your heart where is it? _and what the fuck was he seeing anyways?

Her hair was splayed about her like rivers of platinum, her eyes still open and staring at him, lifeless and dull and a violet that was so close to his, but not quite. _violet violet a dead violet oh god Natasha my sister what have you done? _

Her crimson-stained hands were resting on the sides of the very gift basket he'd predicted she'd have (There was a bit of rolled up paper, tied with a ribbon, tied to the handle of the basket. His mind, however, did not yet take this in), but the contents- _dear god, what is that? That cannot be.. That cannot be… please, no… _Her heart was resting among rose petals within the basket, her knife placed beside it wrapped in- dear god, was that her _skin? D-did she wrap it up in her __**skin?**_

He suddenly felt very, very, _very_ sick. He stumbled backwards as it started to register in his mind. His little sister, his precious little sister whom he had always loved (even if it was not in a way she wanted, he still loved her; she was his little _sister,_ after all, god damn it!) was dead, displayed in a grotesquely "romantic" way.

_Natasha, Natasha, sweet Natasha, why? Why did you do it? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why did you do this? Sweet sister, my sister, why?_

He felt his own heart pounding, pounding, _pounding, _it was ridiculous and he could feel it ready to fall out, rejecting the feelings that were stirring up this very moment, rejecting this sight before him, rejecting the fact that his _dear little sister is dead. Not breathing. Gone to him._

_Gone._

_Oh god why?_

He swallowed, feeling bile start to churn, ready to rush up his throat and through his lips and _this just cannot be real it cannot be Natalia wake up wake up you are not dead you are not you are not-_

He was on his knees, his vomit all over the floor, a sour taste on his tongue and his heart was _dangerously_ close to falling out, rejecting everything he'd just seen, rejecting the fact that his little sister was no longer going to stalk him and beg him to marry her, no longer going to surprise him on Christmas with Katyusha, no longer going to be _alive_.

He gave out a strangled cry, quiet and broken, and the tears began to well up and _god damn it heart just fall out already I don't want to feel this anymore please oh god __**Natasha why**__ why why _and he genuinely couldn't understand why she did this, why she would scar him like this.

He looked up, and finally processed the neatly-attached note. What did it say? _what did you say to me before you did this?_

He stood up shakily, not seeming to notice the _sick_ that was getting all over, and he stepped toward her slowly, feeling ill again as her display grew closer and closer…

The letter was in his hands, and he read through it several times, feeling his heart hurting more than it had ever hurt and suddenly it was _out_ and _what is pain? _and suddenly he felt the need to drink, drink, _drink_ himself into oblivion and maybe he can forget everything, pretend it never happened.

_And tomorrow I will awake and find her alive and awake and as energetic as ever._

Yes, this was a good plan, and he backed out of the room. It never happened. He would discover this in the morning. It was a horrible nightmare. Yes. Now, to go drink. A better idea he'd never had.

_My dearest Vanya,_

_Happy Valentine's Day, my love! I tried to think of an appropriate gift that would finally get you to stop denying your love for me and I thought, why not just give you my heart? It's the perfect solution. This only goes to show how much I love you. You will accept it, I know you will. I'll give you my heart. Then we can marry, da?_

_Besides, perhaps it will not hurt anymore this way. I can be just like you. My heart detached from my body and it wont hurt anymore, right? That is why you smile, right? It hurts deep down but surely not as bad as this, correct?_

_So again, darling brother, sweet Vanya, happy Valentine's Day._

_I love you._

_Your little sister and bride-to-be, _

_~Natalia_

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**A/N: ****yeahso. ****have some lovely Valentine's Day tragedy for you333**

**Also there's an alternate ending and a slight omake I'm going to work on which is from Nata's point of view.**

**Speaking of which. Point of view. This was /terrifying/ to write because it's my first time really writing from Ivan's point of view. Oh my god I hope I wasn't too out of character.**

…**.I love how that is always what I'm afraid of most. It really is. orz ooc-ness. Mygodfjdkslfa**

**I hope you guys liked this. ;;;**

**And Happy Valentine's Day~~ **

**ineedtogoandum. buy my Mama a birthday present3;;**

**and the alternate ending will be up soon.**

**andishouldum. maybe start the omake. at some point. **

**Ciao~**

**~Avio**


	2. Alternate Ending

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine~**

**FYI: this is the alternate ending, but I put the first part here anyways. If you don't want to reread it, just go to the **_**~o~ **_

**I'll Give You My Heart - [Alternate Ending]**

**Avio Favalon**

**A Hetalia fanfic~**

February 14th.

It was a holiday Russia enjoyed, and his ever-present smile was bright and cheery as he walked down his streets, seeing his people so happy and filled with love, exchanging gifts and flowers, and he had almost forgotten why there was always that undertone of fear when it came to this holiday.

Almost.

He could sense her, though. Slinking through his neighborhoods on her way to his home, most likely armed with a gift basket filled with flowers, chocolate, and marriage papers. He shuddered at the thought; why couldn't he have a normal sister?

So he did his best to avoid his home and enjoy his walk, happy that his people were happy.

He would deal with Belarus later, most likely. He learned long ago that he couldn't avoid her. For now, however, he was content to walk and observe.

~o~

He could no longer avoid it. He could no longer avoid _her._ The sun was setting and he knew she'd be waiting for him, just as she waited for him every year. His sister was a very patient woman. Patient and tenacious. Frightening. So he had made his way home and was now standing before his bedroom door.

_She is always there, always waiting for me, always… why can she not understand? Why? I just cannot… not like that…_

_**~o~**_

Nonetheless, he sighed and pushed open the door, closing his eyes tightly and bracing himself for the assault…

…and it came, fast and hard and with a loud-sounding _fwump! _as his younger sister threw herself onto him, arms wrapping around him as she cried out, "Vanya! I have waited for you!"

His body went stiff and he rose a hand up to pat her back awkwardly. "D-da, Natalia, how are you today?"

She pulled back, a small smile on her face. "It is Valentine's Day, Vanya! I have been here all day just for this moment, did you know?"

Of course he knew. He knew all day, but he humored her anyways. "A-ah, nyet, I did not. I, er, apologize for making you wait so long, N-Nata."

Suddenly she was close, so very close, to him, her whisper on his ear, soft, sweet, _frightening, _"Vanya, I have a very special gift for you this year."

Ivan's heart began to pound, a cold sweat breaking out all over his body and he was suddenly far more terrified than he was moments before. "D-da?" He choked out, his voice strained and dear god she had that _glint _in her eye, the same glint that she wore when she became _especially _frightening, when she became _far too close for comfort she is too close for comfort Natalia my sestra please step back step back step back I do not love you like this oh god what are you going to try to do to me-_

Natalia stepped back a few feet, surprising him only until she began to undo the buttons of her dress and dread began to flow in his veins. "N-Natalia? Wh-what are you d-doing?" He took a step back himself, ready to flee out the door at the best moment. She didn't respond, only continuing unbuttoning her dress until she reached just below her breasts, and Ivan had no idea how to take this other than taking another step back. _What are you doing sestra?_

He found himself all the more frightened and confused when she slipped her skirt up and pulled a knife out from her garter belt. He found himself with a sudden, cold _fear _rippling through his body, a _fear _far worse than anything he'd ever felt. "Natalia? Wh-?"

"Vanya," she said, her voice quiet and with an undertone of… sadness? "I have been in love with you my entire life now. You used to tell my that you loved me, too, once upon a time. But now… I am lucky if you even stop to speak to me at all."

Her voice was shaking; was she… was she about to cry? Ivan felt so very ill-prepared for whatever his little sister had up her sleeve, let alone any tears, and that _fear_ that gripped his heart squeezed all the tighter and he began to wonder if he still knew how to breathe.

"I do not believe you are taking me seriously, Vanya, when I tell you that I love you. I love you so much. And I have spent the entire past few months trying to think of a way I could prove it to you." At this, she looked down at the floor, her lashes covering her eyes and _why do I suddenly feel the need to hold her so tightly she couldn't escape if she tried? What is this __**fear**__ that I keep feeling? _

"It finally hit me, just a few weeks ago. The perfect Valentine's Day gift for my perfect brother and groom-to-be." She peeled back her dress from resting upon her shoulders, exposing her entire upper torso. Ivan didn't know what to think when he saw that she had drawn over her chest a heart, right over said organ.

She took a few more steps back, away from him, then her eyes -violet like his- looked up at him, and they were filled with love and admiration and sadness and _is that fear in her eyes? Why is she afraid? Why is she afraid? _and he had an answer in his head but he refused to listen until she raised the knife's point to the heart and he watched as her muscles tensed and she cut into her own flesh and suddenly Ivan _really_ couldn't breathe and panic started to rush through his brain and _oh my god oh my god Natalia please dear god please tell me you're not going to no no no no no please don't do this no no I love you don't do this _and he could feel his mind _screaming_ at his body to _run, go, please, stop her go go go now now now stop her stop this oh my god Natalia __**what are you doing?**_

"I will give you my heart." Her voice was pained and hurt and _she is being strong like she always told me she was _and she began to peel the cut heart off- _oh m-my god she's peeling off her skin she's skinning herself fuck damn it Ivan move __**move please move for the love of god my sister my Nata my little sister! **_"I love you so much." Finally the tears were falling and she was making small whimpers of pain.

"N-Nata, wh-why are you d-doing this?" His throat was dry and his voice was hoarse and fuck why weren't his legs working? He reached his hands out to her, as if she would stop and run into his arms and he stood there _desperately _willing her to _stop _even as she finished skinning herself, her hands _shaking _and her muted cries of pain were all shooting him straight into the heart.

"Because I love you," she replied, tears shaking her voice. "I-I… I am a nation, so I know that this… this will not kill me." She swallowed and dug the knife into her exposed insides and began the process of _oh dear god she is_ _cutting out her own heart. _She was nearly screaming with pain and all Ivan can do was dumbly watch, his body refusing to move, refusing to take in and register what he was seeing. _why am I such a coward this is __**Natalia **__my precious little __**sestra, **__my beautiful, precious, tragically insane little __**sestra**__ and she is __**cutting out her heart move god damn it **__**move**____Natalia you are not like me you couldn't survive this dear god __**stop please.**_

All of the sudden, the knife clattered to the floor. Natalia was shakily reaching her hands into her chest, gripping around it and crying out in pain and her muscles were trembling and Ivan suddenly felt very, very, _very_ ill. If only his body would obey him and just fucking _move _already. He can already see the life starting to leave her beautiful eyes, so like his own, and the strength was rapidly leaving her body if her violently shaking arms were any indication.

She fell to her knees as she continued to rip out her heart. Ivan watched in horror as her blood gushed all over her chest and _how she resembled snow right now, skin so white with blood spilling all over her molesting her beautiful skin __**raping**__ her purity oh god __**Nata please **_"Stop!" He coughed out, feeling sickness churn in his stomach and now she was holding her heart out, limbs shaking so horribly as her strength diminished, her body falling into a slouch.

And then she was on the ground completely.

She wasn't breathing.

Neither was he, it seemed.

"N-Natalia…" he stared in horror at what was once his precious baby sister, so misguided with her affections and now it had cost her her life and _what made you think that you would survive that? What made you think you could do it? You are not me, so __**why?**_

Anything he'd had in his stomach was now all over the floor, mixing into her blood, and _now_ it seemed his body was working as he scrambled forward to hold his dear, precious little sister. "Oh, Natalia, _why?_" He moaned into her skin, scarlet liquid getting all over him, the barely-there warmth fading quickly, leaving her colder than the General himself.

What the fuck had he just witnessed?

…nothing.

He had witnessed nothing, he told himself.

Because he was going to leave the room, he was going to go out and get a drink, and when he came back, Natalia would be there. She would be alive and well and this will all have been a dream. A _nightmare._ That is all.

He gently pushed her corpse off of him, and he suddenly felt a little bit lighter than he had before. He stood up, shakily, and made his way out through his door, through his home, and to his study, where he proceeded to drink himself into oblivion.

In his room, lying next to the blood-soaked corpse of what was the Natalia, the Republic of Belarus, were two hearts. One was her own, drenched in red_[love]._ The other was her brother's, which had fallen out without his knowledge as his mind completely snapped, and had given him a sudden heavy feeling of lightness.

Russia was so far gone, it seemed that nothing could save him now. This was proven the next morning, when he woke up from his vodka-induced sleep, and he had rediscovered the body of his precious little sister.

_Happy Valentine's Day, Vanya. I love you._


End file.
